Dear Friends,

poop-scoopingLast week, while scooping my terrier’s poop in the park, I saw another pile of poo, just next to his, and I thought, “Might as well grab this, too.”  I added the unknown dog’s poop to our little green baggie, but I noticed I felt a little squeamish. As the mother of four, and the human friend to countless dogs and cats, I don’t normally feel uneasy about cleaning up waste. But as I carried the bag, now filled with co-mingled doggie doo, I was grossed out.

I began to wonder what it was about the contents of that bag that made me feel so icky. It had something to do with the fact that the dog who produced it wasn’t “my” dog. But unlike my children, Roger isn’t biologically related to me, and so my comfort with his waste couldn’t be attributed to a parenting gene. Over the four years since we rescued Roger and his brother, Woody, we have grown very attached to them. So much so that I am completely unfazed by scooping for them, but am made viscerally uneasy when I do the same for another dog. I’m sure this non-biological attachment comes as no surprise to any of the adoptive parents reading this, but the degree of my attachment made me pause.

Interbeing

Some years ago, I was at a retreat with the Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, where he answered questions from the audience. One question in particular was very touching. It was from a woman whose young adult daughter had recently died of leukemia and she was trying to understand how she could live while never being able to be with her again. Thich Nhat Hanh’s response surprised me. He said that if the mother was mindful and concentrated, she could find her daughter right here and now in a new form.

Just as the cloud can later be found in the rain, he said, her daughter can now be found in other people. In our universe, “nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything transforms” (Antoine Lavoisier.) Knowing this, we see there is nowhere for us to go, our energy and our matter must continue on in new forms. This is what the Buddha called interdependence, and Thich Nhat Hanh calls interbeing — the insight that we are always in process and sharing the same matter and energy back and forth between each other, like a cold virus in preschool. In the light of this insight, discrimination between people, or dogs, seems silly. And yet we do it. If my neighbor has a raucous party that lasts into the wee hours, I would be more annoyed at her than I would be at my son having the same party in my house.

Non-discrimination

Many spiritual and mystical teachers have suggested that we are capable of non-discrimination (though I’ve not yet seen a spiritual text referring to dog waste discrimination.) The Bible suggests we “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” which would require a serious feat of non-discrimination, and the Buddha similarly suggested that, “Just as a mother would protect her only child with her life, even so let one cultivate a boundless love toward all beings.” Impossible? Definitely. Worth practicing? I think so.

“TO ENTER THE BUDDHA WAY IS TO STOP DISCRIMINATING BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL AND TO CAST ASIDE THE MIND THAT SAYS THIS IS GOOD AND THAT IS BAD.” — DOGEN ZENJI

Even the smallest bit of non-discrimination could quite possibly lower the levels of violence and suffering in our world. Mindfulness practices, like this one, are impossible to put into practice 100{635ce6e164da35558ada9b360ffa3aad1e10c6ad4ce54c35623c30541d8f979b} of the time — at least for we non-monastic practitioners. It’s hard to be attentive to every breath in every moment. But that’s ok, because if it were possible, it would simply become one more thing on our bucket list. Enlightenment? Check. Non-discrimination? Check. Because non-discrimination is impossible, we can continue to learn and transform by practicing it from now until the day we die.

Maybe picking up another dog’s poop is one way to begin to practice. Or treating a stranger on the bus the way you would treat your own mother. When someone annoys you, you might give him more leeway if you imagine him as your best friend. If the man on the street wearing a shabby winter coat and asking for change were your own son, would you give him something?

To practice non-discrimination, we can notice and investigate habit energies that naturally create attachment to those we spend the most time with, especially those we consider to be in our “tribe” (whether human or otherwise.) Instead of diminishing the relationships we have with our special people, non-discrimination extends the love and nurturing we have to include those outside of our immediate circle.

Love

Since that day in the park, I’ve been practicing paying attention when I feel aversion to someone or something, like to a stranger or her dog’s poop. I see my mind creating discrimination and distance by telling me that my dog — or my family — is in some way better than, safer than, less smelly then this stranger. This story may serve me in certain circumstances, like when I need protect myself or someone else. So, I’m not rejecting the mind’s discrimination suggestions without considering whether they are true. However, most of the time discrimination is just a habitual way of thinking that I can notice it, check out, and usually abandon.

“YOU CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN TO BE ABLE TO LOOK OVER THE WHOLE SITUATION, NOT BOUND BY ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER. IF YOUR LOVE HAS ATTACHMENT, DISCRIMINATION, PREJUDICE, OR CLINGING IN IT, IT IS NOT TRUE LOVE.” — THICH NHAT HANH, TEACHINGS ON LOVE

My brain has been training itself for four years to think that Roger and Woody’s poops are better than all others. There’s nothing innately wrong with my mind for discriminating this way — it’s an effective tool for making sure I take good care of my loved ones. Once we see that discrimination is a story that may or may not be true and may or may not serve our deepest intentions, we have the freedom to choose how we respond to our thoughts. We all benefit when we expand our circle of love. So next time I notice discrimination arising, whether it’s aversion to dog poop or another human being, I hope to have the freedom to set my discrimination aside and invite other dogs, and people, into my heart.

with love,

annie.

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14 Comments

  1. Susan Newborn on January 24, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    Another inspiring offering that has entered my heart. Thanks, Annie!

    • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      Thanks, Susan. Happy to be in your heart. 🙂

      • Elisabeth on January 24, 2017 at 4:50 pm

        Thanks Annie, What a marvelous reminder of how well spent our days can be.

        • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 8:38 pm

          Ha. Your comment made me chuckle because I wasn’t sure if you meant it sarcastically given that I spent a day pondering dog poop. 🙂 xo

  2. Sean on January 24, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    Be careful with telling yourself stories about “impossible.” I believe in you (and me). Namaste.

    • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 2:45 pm

      Thanks for the comment, Sean… can you say more about what you mean?

      • Sean on January 24, 2017 at 4:26 pm

        Sure. Perhaps I misunderstand, but in your piece you twice say that full non discrimination (or what might be thought if as perfectly realized unity, awakened, enlightened) is impossible (or impossible for us householders). I don’t claim to have achieved it or anything close mind you, but I’d like to keep up the idea that it’s possible. Plenty of “regular” people have become awakened to the unity. Plenty of buddhists are trying to bring it to all beings. I am you and you are me. We are not separate. And I’m confident that through grace and practice we can realize it – all the time. Love to you.

        • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 8:36 pm

          Ah yes, now I get what you’re saying. And yes, I probably should have left it as a possibility for someone, just not me. I wonder though, was the Buddha really mindful of every single moment? Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts. Love to you too. Xo

  3. Sandy McDougall on January 24, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    Woof woof! thank you Annie (still reading you from afar…..)

    • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 2:46 pm

      Yay! Happy to hear from you. xo

  4. Mira on January 24, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Annie – I’ve had this same experience several times. But I never focused on” it” the way you have. : ) I like what you did with the poop!! : P

    • Annie Mahon on January 24, 2017 at 8:39 pm

      Oh good, glad it wasn’t just my neurosis… thanks for reading and considering, Mira! Xo

  5. Yvette Dawson on February 2, 2017 at 10:28 am

    Good Morning Annie!

    You certainly are spot on with with what I just read here, right now. I can’t believe that I had a very similar experience re: the dog situation you spoke of just this morning. I decided that rather than pay attention to just what my dog pooped (or the additional 3) I was out with while on our morning walk, to pick up what another dog left on the curbside. Why? I thought I was practicing mindfullness. I must admit I was a bit mad at first, but then I did not someone getting into their car to step in dog poo and have a bad day!
    I am a new student in the CYTT and after I heard your lecture and teaching on Mindfulness I have been very aware of how I practice, to the best of my ability, each day, some of the wisdom you shared with the class. You never know who can have an impact on your life, teacher, family friends, dogs (woof!) . I am so grateful to be part of the CYC community and looking forward to learning more as I continue this journey with you as a yoga student and hopefully a teacher like you! Namaste

    • Annie Mahon on February 2, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Dear Yvette… thank you for this note. I am very happy to have met you and happy to see how much you are enjoying practicing mindfulness.. I am sure you will be a wonderful teacher! xo annie.

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